Healing Bird


This painting was created in the aftermath of a traumatic injury.

Late September of 2018 before going to bed I  went to bring the trash out and I didn't realize my cat, Luni ,was on the indoor porch. He slipped outside when I opened the door and I ran out after him. He went under my porch and as I crawled under to get him I reached out and lost my balance and ended up landing on a large piece of broken glass. I instantly felt my arm pop open and I began bleeding uncontrollably. My husband and I wrapped up my arm in a sweatshirt and ran to the car to drive to the hospital. As we were driving I tried to keep calm but noticed my sweatshirt was saturated. We tried a tourniquet but it wouldn’t stop. I tried to figure out which way to get to the hospital but I started to get dizzy and lightheaded and I couldn't think. We then pulled over at a gas station and they called 911. I noticed my hand turned grey and white and I was so scared.

     At the hospital they stitched me up and as I was getting ready to leave blood began to gush through the stitches like a sprinkler.  They checked to see if an artery may have been cut but the scan didn't show active bleeding at the time so I was discharged home and I thought that would be the end of it.  My husband was able to get Luni home safely too.

    Monday morning I went to work feeling very weak, my arm became contracted and I was unable to use it much. I worked light duty on the computer and phone for two weeks and during that time I wasn't treated very well. Some people I worked with assumed it was just a simple cut and made it known they were inconvenienced that I had restrictions with what I could do due to my injury. To make matters worse, each day I also noticed a mass began to form under my stitches. Each day the area would grow larger and I felt weaker. Eventually the combination of how other coworkers were treating me and how awful I felt physically pushed me to give my notice. On my last day I walked out to the parking lot and suddenly my arm cramped up and I felt incredible pain. My arm began to bleed again and my dad brought me to the ER. There they found that my radial artery actually had been cut and I had been bleeding internally for two weeks. I had emergency surgery that night.

    During my healing I painted and I went through many emotions.   The healing bird was based on a bird that I loved looking at on one of my work calendars. The bird is bright and orange just like the leaves of October which was the month I had my surgery and healing time. The bird is looking at a vine of arteries (my injury) and in the sky is the constellation of Chiron the healer. As I painted this I left the fear of everything behind and decided the universe gave me a very unpleasant but a very loud sign that I needed. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. This painting helped me realize that I am an Artist and that is what I need to do with my life. When I look at it I remember that I survived and I healed emotionally and physically.

We are so much stronger than we think we are and we deserve happiness in life. If you are somewhere where people are not appreciating you, if you have a dream deep inside that you find hard to ignore or you feel lost with out it remember your worth and find your wings. Somewhere out there you will find where you really belong. Just listen to what your heart tells you and don’t be afraid.